It is not honesty that can be a red flag, but the manner in which someone may convey their “honest opinions.” A person referred to as brutally honest isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but at times it can be seen as a red flag. This is usually when the person has no regard for how the things they say may impact someone.
For example, let’s say you’re meeting your partner’s family for the first time and afterwards they ask you, “What did you think of my family?” Suppose you and their brother did not get along. There are different ways you can tell your partner this.
A) “I hated your brother. He is such an a**hole. I don’t know why you even talk to him. I cannot stand him.”
B) “Your family seems really great, but I don’t think I get along with your brother very well. We have a lot of differing opinions and got into some heated discussions.”
One answer leaves much more room for a healthy conversation about the evening, whereas the other can upset their partner and is emotionally heated. This stresses the importance of respectful communication in relationships. If this is something you and your partner struggle with, I encourage you to have an open conversation about how certain tones or such make you feel. Remember, your feelings are valid.